Wednesday, December 06, 2006

 

Bukky is trying me o!!!!

This Bukky girl dey try my patience seriously o. Anybody that knows the girl should warn her o.

Shey una remember Bukky now? ehen. I no get liver for some certain things but for some other sturvs like person wey wan put sand sand for my Garri i go vex o.

I was at work and it was one of those really crazy days where everything just comes at you the moment you walk in the door. As i just sat my Juicy ass down that's how one of my Oyinbo Oga's started shouting and asking me for this, for that, igba awo. I just look am with one kain eye like that say (For my mind o) Ode. You don carry all your Salary go give Pastor Synagogue you come dey open eye for me here. Idiot. How a normal human being would leave his house in Ikoyi and travel down to one Synagogue Church for Ikotun-Egbe beats my imagination mehn!!!.
Abi you never hear of Synagogue? Haba where you dey since now? Okay make i give you small gist.
From what i heard...I never go the shoosh before o. Na just gist. But from what i heard the guy na one kain Fake Pastor like that that uses demonic powers to work some kain Miracles like that. I heard that when the Nigerian International Daniel Amokachi had a career threatning leg injury na the shoosh wey e go be that. One year and all his $avings later, his situation was still the same. Actually he was worse off 'cause brother was as broke as a plate.
Then i heard that Women from all over the country looking for "fruit of the womb" throng the place and he gives them one white handkerchief like that to take home and put the handkerchief under your pillow. Then, at 2a.m when the sleep dey sweet you well well, the Pastor's Spirit will now enter the handkerchief and creep out of the pillow and jump on the woman. Imagine all the thousands of Women for the guy shoosh. No wonder the guy is that skinny.lol.
I also heard the Spirit also has a penchant for giving head o. So the Women keep praying for a re-visit. hehehe. Wetin? Abeg no ask me stupid question i no remember who tell me the gist. If you no beleive me na you sabi. Abi you sef need "visitation". Shio. E dey your body.

Wetin i dey talk sef? Okayee, that's how my Oyinbo Blond hair blue eye "aryan" Oga dey go the Synagogue shoosh o. I no know wetin dey pursue am sef. It's so bad that he even has several stickers on his Car. The dude na card carrying member. The popular gist is that he's trying to secure his job to stay in Nija because the guy dey gbadun this place seriously.All those skinny lepa shandy girls, plus living like a King. No be my opinion sha o. Make you no go Koba me. Na wetin i hear i dey talk o. Anyway as the man was shouting that morning i just dey look say if i woz you slap ehn? no be only stars you go dey see sef. Na Handkerchief go dey fly for your office. Raasclaat.

So come see me see Wahala o. After having days like that at work, i'm stressed out, i get home and i can not eat food inside my very house because i'm scared of the food. See me see Wahala o. I mean there's enough food in my Freezer to last Mr.Joseph and the Egyptians 7 years of Famine. Name it, different Orishirishi Soup from Efo riro with meat calling Shaki. And Shaki hollering at rounabout and roundabout whistling at Bokoto meanwhile Bokoto is chancing the smaller fried snails for inside the same pot o. And that's just for Starters. There's fried Chicken stew, Fresh fish stew, beef stew, Asaro, beans, Several tubs of Ice-Cream, orishirishi like that sha. Me sef i like food small. But fear dey catch me to even go near all that food. Lately i've been buying take-out from all the Reataurants on the Island and peeps who know me know i don't dig that shit. Na the condition wey Bukky carry me put be that o. First point of action was to get my spare keys from her. I was trying to stop "unrestricted access" to my crib. So i was now thinking of a way to get my keys off her without turning it into world war 3. Omo, i tire o. Shebi you go ask me why i come give am my keys in the first place? That's how i come dey rack my brain o to find solution to my problem. At the end of the day, i just decided to ask her for my keys outrightly. So having come to that conclusion, i went upstairs to meet her.

Meanwhile she has been acting one kain, one kain like that. She usually comes on Fridays then she leaves on sunday night. This one ehn, she just glue herself for my house o she no go anywhere. If she goes to work she comes back straight to my house. Shebi she get spare keys. So that's how she was sitted comfortably, watching one of those Celebrity shows i think on E enterainment or something like that, and sipping my Hennessy. so i said Bukky can i please have my keys? She just turn her head look me, turn back to Jessica Simpson. It was like i wasn't even there, like i didn't even say a word. So i said Olubukola, I just asked you a question (I was gradually raising my voice) Can i have my keys? Omo, she just look me up and down like that and said "sorry you can't have your keys at least until i'm ready to give it back to you".
Mehn, see the attitude. No be only mouth she take talk am o. Na plus eyelashes wey dey go up and down... Nija style, and eyes wey dey roll, and that "speak to the hand" thingy chicks are so fond of. I was like "she o mu oti yo ni? (are you drunk?).
I come begin rake dey shout seriously. "It's my house i work hard for everything own and you can not sit here and refuse to give me my keys, i demand, ...i this,... i that,... Igba, ...awo. She no even answer me. Infact when my voice dey rise sef na so she dey increase volume for the remote control.
My people, i come tire. Me? before before wey be say before i talk one thing like this ehn, she go don jump three times. This same Bukky is now looking at me like Isi-Ewu. Me Baba Alaye mehn i don suffer.
That's how i just quickly accessed the situation ikpe, It didn't look like i was gonna win this round. So i just shouted Bukky you are trying me o!!! You are trying me o!!! i'm going out, and before i come back to this house, you had better have my keys ready because what i'll do to you ehn and shey you know me now? If i display for you igba, awo. Yadda yadda.
That's how i grabbed my Car Keys and was about storming out. She just turned and said in this very eerie calm way she speaks sometimes that "you're not going anywhere You better sit down and don't waste your time." I just stormed out of her presence and i could hear her say "don't slam the door". For where? If i no slam door how you go no say i dey vex now? That's one habit that all the punishment never correct since i was small. ....Slamming doors. My favorite past time. So, why you come dey squeeze face now? At least me i don talk my bad habit. Wetin be your own? Aunty na me Sabi.

So sha, i got downstairs, got in my car, make i go watch football for one sport bar in my neighbourhood as pe tennant don evict landlord for house now. That's how my moto no start o. I cranked it up again omo, nothing. The Ignition was dead. I just hissed, and made a mental note to myself ikpe, i was gonna have my Driver's head on a cheap plastic plate by tommorrow morning 'cause that was my official car. And anyway sha i've never been a fan of any Automobile not made by Germans. So i got back inside and took the Keys to the other Car.
I swear my moto no start o. Brand new Car. This Whip is less than 9 months old. The Same thing that happened to the other Car, but this time, my "Marvel on the road" "Superior Bavarian Engineering" at it's best wouldn't start up. I was gobsmacked. This has never i mean NEVER happened. My people na that time cold come dey catch me say "this one no be Oju lasan". I decided to open the bonnet but there was no point 'cause the whole thing was sealed anyway. It wasn't made to be tinkered with at will except for an oil change and stuff every couple of thousand miles. Well how man for do?
Your homeboy just simply shuffled back into the house with his tail between his legs. I just went upstairs jejely, got on the Bed and closed my eyes. I couldn't even watch footie. For where? Champions league ko? Champions league ni. This one wey for my very domot i don get yellow card. Sha, she walks in an hour later and goes "are you back"? "Shey o lo mo ni"? (Aren't you going again"?) i no even answer. As if say she no know say my Moto(s) no gree start. I was too bewildered by the whole situation to even shout. Abi wetin shouting go do for this matter now? She then announced that "well sha if you want to eat, dinner is served downstairs". Rice and Curry Sauce.
Me!! Me!! She dey tell me dinner is served. Do i have a stupid face? I mean do i really look that daft? After Last week's Egusi soup ended up in the Trash. Reasons still unknown. (Although i have my strong suspicions). And all the other orishirishi deep coded talk she has been talking recently. Now last night make i comot for house my moto no start. She come say make i chop. Na she go chop the food no be me. Tufiakwa.

Although i was so hungry last night, i just couldn't risk eating anything. So i went to bed hungry. I'm back in the office now this Morning. I've just sent my Driver to Cactus to get me a Sandwich. This will be the only thing i've eaten since breakfast yesterday. It's beginning to frustrate me this.
My ears are still ringing with what she said last week that if i don't marry her i can't marry any other girl. Mehn, See as one Otorompe girl dey throw threats at me just anyhow. Make una warn am o!!! If i begin fasting and prayer session for am ehn? She go hear am. I've always said i didn't have her time yet. But this one wey i no fit chop for my own house ehn? Na war o. Meanwhile both cars started effortlessly this morning. Hmmm!!!!
My people this one pass me o. Wetin i go do? Please help your boy. I'm open to ideas.

Comments:
First!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lol men this gist, dont even know what to make of it....just be very careful of this girl she seems ro have a lot of 'tricks' up her sleeves pls start the praying and fasting for her suspicious ass lol...take care
 
Alaye Baba, perhaps you need to go to the synagogue to collect your own protection against Bukky? On the side, I used to watch their TV prog. back in the days when they just started. It was entertainment for my brother and I. Those people have really come far o! New big shiny building and all.

on a serious tip though, I do not think that you have anything to worry about. Or perhaps I'm saying that cos I am not superstitious.

If you no want, you no want. Throw out the food and get your keys back. You know you can if you really want to;)
 
I was first o! Its this beta-blogger. scheeeew!!
 
@Inmyhead.Me make i go Synagogue? O sick gan.
How i go come beleive you now? Na life through tinted glasses first appear.
Anyway sha i'll give both of you ALL the food left in my Freezer. lol

@Life through tinted glasses.She don put me for automatic fasting already now. This one that i can't eat at home sef.Nonsense and Ingridient.
 
BabaAlaye!!!!! Nna, i too dey enjoy your yarns abeg.
How you go come allow one small amosu dey give you wahala like this i mean, to say na me when i finish with am na she go dey beg say she wan de go.No be so person dey marry. No be by force biko.

Chijioke 1 of Isiala Mbano.
(Currently residence in Chicago)
 
Hmmm... Tell us the truth jere, u gave Bukky ur keys hmmm... she comes in Friday nite and leave Sunday. Na u talk say she dey sip ur Hennessy and u're still asking her "she o mu oti yo ni?" When Bukky has started to "pe mi l'oruko, ko fa mi ni irungbon" what did u expect? U sure say Bukky no dey go Synagogue, 'cos e be like say she don lay "white handkerchief" for ur ride o. HA! Bukolascious. Hmm... do i smell a rat? Infact i smell more than a rat, some fishy stuvinzz are going down right under ur very nose. Talk tru, how many times she don cook "ila alasepo" or "efo elemi mejo ti on mi" wey u chop? There u go. U berra go wash head in "odo ti o n san" (running water) 7 times. On the real though, u need to pary about it and even have a one on one discussion with her. No need getting angry and shouting, and ask her politely and nicely after the talk to give u ur keys. If u don't see urself getting married to her, then u need to break all ties with her before it becomes too dangerous. BWAHAHAHAHA (evil laughter) so na only mouth u get Baba Alaye.
 
HEHEHE, im loving this bukky babe, interim abi, she seems like shes running the whole sturvs from what i see. Man u need to put on ur damn trousers and take control man. I have a good idea sha, call a lock smith and change ur keys, then hers become useless, imagine the look on her face when she tries to open the door lol.
why am i even helping u, Bukky if ur reading, hire a truck and move ur stuff in, feel comfortable jare.
 
I meant to say: "On the real though, u need to pray about it" not pary (lol)
 
What a laugh! Time we women began taking control. More power!

Actually, the incident was rather suspicious. It does not harm to be prayerful... and I mean seriously. This is Lagos afterall. Once you sort out this incident, you realy should end the relationship. It's not fair to Bukky at all. And while she might rip your books, cut through your suits and even burn your house, you will be free....

The solution? Eh? Change the locks?????????????????????? Common sense man....
 
@ Chijoke. Ogbuefi Chijoke Thanks jare. See the small girl wey wan try me. I go deal with am soon enuff.

@Cherub. You no dey serious o. Me make i go wash my head for River 7 times. River ko, Bar Beach ni. Oga o. You wan abuse me before? I go return to your Blog come download that slap you've been yearning for.

@Teekay. O serious at all. So you're loving her ehn? All my enemies by association...And make she hire Truck ehn? No U-Haul she go bring sef. I know what to do sef. No need to change my Locks i go just tell the Security guys not to allow her in. And i might even Change the locks for good measure.(But that one na hard work 'cause my locks will put Alcatraz to shame)

@IM Puhleazee!!! Must you turn everything into some Feminist movement thing? You no even hear the whole Tory you don begin Judge.

Kpele o. You wey get common Sense. Shio.
 
lol. this guy. your drama plenty pass Super Story and Ikebe Super joined together o.

have you tried changing your locks? that's the real kaiser soze move for real. just come home early, or tell your driver to get someone to come and change the locks during the day when both of you are out.

do it on a friday, and spend the weekend out of town. by monday when you return she would have been mad frustrated gan. she will be waiting for you with an army of babalawos. for that i cannot offer any help, short of prayers. just beware of a woman scorned, and love to hatred turned....
 
Thank Goodness you are back to your old fun self.No more "I'm a chicken...I'm a sell out' talk.On the other hand,Maybe if you stop having sex with bukky,she'll leave you alone.As long as you are still eating from her honey pot,she won't move out of your house.
 
Baba Alaye!! I no fit laugh!! See as tenant drive u commot for ur own house!! U just dey suspect this Buki for nothing!! Wetin she do u? Say u no wan chop her food again make the "KOP NO MI" no catch you? Abeg chop food o jare!! Sandwich nno dey fill gap oh. Me I k now say Sandwich no dey fill the stomach of all the mena round me. Na 'swallows' be am!!

So na bcos buki request for marriage you wan collect key from am, refuse to chop im food anymore. See as u come put yaself for prison now? If you no want make buki hold ya key, u for request the key from am with style. U come dey do gra gra like say she steal the key from under ya mattress. LOL!! U for tell am say u don loss ur key say u need her own to make copy and not return it to her again. Anyway, as she no gree surrender the keys, make u kuku change the lock for house!!
 
Babaalaye!Babaalaye!!Babaalaye!!!
How many times I call u..Nna u berra start calling ur mama to start fastng and praying with u cos this is definately not Ojulasan o ..Omo u even try sleep for the same house with her ..na that nite I go bolt comot the house and omo by the time she come back from work the next day I go dan change the locks big time ..
 
Lol Lol Lol

I've been following ur blogs for a while now and i must say they are quite entertaining...keep it up.

On the Bukky matter, what can i say...nkon ti oju ba n wa lo n ri! Nkon ti o fe je ni o je ko gbon....funny how men feel they can use and discard women at a drop of a hat, meanwhile they are the ones being used!!! You'll be surprised when this ehmmm interim babe becomes ur major wife!!!

With prayer all is possible, but i'll advise you to steer clear of the lovely Ms Bukola and her orisirishi obe... and of course most importantly her Honey Pot, and you'll be just fine ;o)
 
Lolll - this reminds me of Boorish male's blog about the crazy girl that tried to stab him. I was laughing at the line where she goes "sorry you can't have your keys at least until i'm ready to give it back to you".

Serves you right. AS crazy stalker woman said, " sex isn't free" lollllllll. A bit spooky that she said you're not going anywhere and neither of your cars would start. Lolll - i could just icture you shuffling in.

I'm sorry, its just too funny a situation to feel sorry for you. You thought you could have your cake and eat it. I worry for any other girl that gets involved with you now - especially as she has threatned that you cant marry anyone else. Just pray loads and change the locks!

Where did you even meet the Bukky self and what kind of babe is she?
 
baba, na you wey cause am.
na you o! look, before beginning prayer against all your enemies and so and so forth, you suppose repent for all the fornication wey you don do with buki. if not - nothing nothing for you my broda. na you wey sin first, so na you wey give buki's "people" power to take over your house. if you no what is good for you, repent, annoint your house well well and change your locks.
 
Bros, which one now? Gbenshing no be free oh.You don meet your match eh. But on the real, Lagos chics na fire oh, I need to come get tips from them. You should let Bukky no your intentions before it gets out of hands.

I am definitely feeling your blogs, hope you are as much fun in person.
 
Why oh why? German cars are the best o. Per bukky, errrr, your house, your keys, your rules, so maybe you should change your locks

Bukky sounds like one of those girls ive heard about. Supposedly they put juju in check. Sucks for you.

If you don't feel comfy around her get rid of her vs making yourself a prisioner in your own home. Hell,when you are about to break the news to her have some pastors present. lol.
 
oops! meant to say

Supposedly they put juju in their mans food to keep him in check.
 
@toni payne: the juju put in the man's food is called "KOP NO MI" in Efik. Baba Alayye don chop bellefull, clean mouth join!!! ROTFLMAO!!!!
 
baba alaye na wa oh. you own wahala pass middle east crisis oh. you need pass Bush in your life. wetin do the good ol' change the damn locks? uhm?

and if e too much, fake madness: talk in your sleep, sleep walk, talk to thyself, start a bad habit (the one you fit do & stop oh), pick your nose, shit no flush, fart around... make i continue? start your own in house fear factor, and she go evict herself sharp sharp.

meanwhile, na who dey do you like this? make u fake krase before beta krase come oh.

may the force be with you! blog on
 
oluwa o!...u wont kill me....i was reading ur blog and my mumcy almost wozed me cause i was laughing and she was tryna watch t.v....but talk true that synagogue gist-any truth to it?cause for this naija anything is possible...i cant dispute.

as per u and bukky....lol...that car just spoil show 4 omo boy...ma bi nu...by the way can't u change urlocks...so bukky wont disturb u anymore...since she's not ready to give up the keys without a fight...
 
baba alaye wetin i talk since???
u no wan listen again....chai next time you will think twice before inte-rimming a lagos chick lol...you berra apologise and reason things out with her abi she's not a human being again...please jare her pussy has lost some of its sweetness because of you , cut the girl some slack abeg before she jazzes u up big time ehehhe

i cannot feel sorry for you oh
 
omo, mo n gbadun ass e men, lol, men some peeps are really more talented in this bloggin' shit than us others. no wonder nobody visits the pathetic excuse of a blogsite of mon.
'anyway let me go back and catch the gist from mr. joseph and his arab paddies- na there i run come give props. hmm, anyway sora e oo. e be like say pepps aplenty, bukki a ba e wa tie o.but on 2nd run, nuthing dey happs men. God pass 'em.
 
ol' boi, u are in deep shit men, i mean real deep wan.lol!! anyway i sabi wan baba like that oo.
 
Baba Alaye, Wetin be Bukky last name?...I go fit warn am if I know am...Abi how u tink am?...lol
 
LOL! I didn't get it till I go to the end 'cos I wasn't sure why you didn't want to eat. Perhaps you should go get your white handkerchief and some good head too, sweetie that could help the stress tremendously.
Seriously though, you have nothing to worry about….she isn’t trying to poison you, or do some kind of love portion – you my friend are paranoid plain and simple. If she wanted to do it, she would have done it way back without the ultimatum – you both sleep in the same house right? Well she could have done whatever it is you are scared of while you were asleep…I heard that’s when they come out

She’s just being a girl – if in the long run you are not going to marry her, then let her know she isn’t wifey material. But if you are but not at present, then tell her she’s the one but you need time

Wait oh; what was the deal with your car not starting? ‘Cos that kinda freaked me out after she said you aren’t going anywhere...haha
 
Guy, you are done for.

Women already wield far too much power in the world as it is. For, while we learned to run fast, climb trees, ride bikes and so on all in a bid to use our physical prowess to impress girls, they were being taught to use subliminal imagery and psychology to control us. Which is why all the muscle in the world won't stop her from wathcing that sappy romantic movie while your football match is on. And when she demands you sit beside her and forget about the Champions League/World Cup Final, you'll mumble and mutter then plonk your ass down on the couch and beg for popcorn with an idiot grin on your face.
Source

All I can say is: Here comes the bride...
 
LOL, @ Chxta, "here comes the bride" hehehe....for real.
 
It serves u right.BabaAlaaye. U think u can use that girl and dump her as u please. God don catch u.I hear this Lagos girls are desperate as hell to get hitched. What were u thinking when u gave her ur keys, did u not know then that she is not marriage material. Were there not tell tale signs of what she is or could turn out to be(winch).Now u are asking 4 help, when ur dick dey enjoy am where were we? Just pray that she will not ruin ur life and future. You have to make a complete 360degrees turnaround if u indeed feel she is not the one and beg God to deliver u from her charms(if she is indeed a winch) and break it off with her at once. U men should all learn a lesson and quit being skirt chasers. God help u!
 
LMAO....
Tht's some dangerous stuvves...
U need some divine intervention to save u from this babe...
 
LOL!!!!!

Gb'omo /2ce.
Ano o gbe'kan opelenge
Oni o gbe'kan fatty bombom
Ojo ojo kan n bo o si ma gbe
Ojo ojo kan n bo o si ma gbe jombo.

Lagbaja's words for you
 
You're in deep up to your ears. Wetin be this I dey hear?
 
Babaalayeeee! What have you gotten yourself into? Bukky no wan gree commot? Weird happenings oh...you should def change the locks if the guards can't keep her out. But we are only hearing one side of the story oh, cos u did invite her, give her keys and prob messed wound with her, so why the sudden change. If she wasn't wifey material, then maybe you should have let her be in the first place instead of making her comfy in your home. Sorry dude.
 
KEE KEE KEE(DEEP YORUBA LAUGH)!!!
BUKKY TI FO IDI SINU OBE FUN BABAALAYE......ABI O SIN GBERE FUN EJA TUTU HA HA HA HA ..........

YESSS SHE DON WASH YANSH FOR INSIDE YOUR STEW..AND SHE DON PUT TRIBAL MARKS FOR THAT FRESH FISH YOU ATE AGES AGO..AND YOU DON FALL UNDER THE SPELL AGES AGO..HA HA HA

MEN BABAALAYE ON FI AWADA SHE YEYE...BETTER GO AND MEET ANY OGBONTARIGI ELDER IN YOUR FAMILY AND ASK THEM TO TAKE YOU TO A STROOOONG SPIRITUAL PERSON O..

ALL YOU MEN SHA...U THINK U CAN JUST DIP INTO A GIRLS HONEYPOT AND VAMOOSE..NA LIE...LAGOS BABES HAVE GONE NUCLEAR..INFACT I HEAR SAY NA FOR COTONOU DEY GO AND DO THEIR JAZZ NOW.

HA HA HA HA HA .....IDI TI MU BABAALAYE..HA HA HA
 
Baba Alaye... this na the first time i'm reading this blog...men your yarns are funny...

I've been in the similar situation before....where the babe and her mama do jazz for guys make we marry.. na God save me o....Oh boy, change your locks on friday,fade for the weekend, cut all contact with the babe and enter some mfm style prayers like you used inside the lift for Ghana..lol...God speed..
 
WOWWWWWWWWW this gist was SWEET OHHHH1 i have to go and read up on bukky. but this is some serious wahala oh!
 
lol BabaAlaye...I no jealous u @ all o. Well, mayve na all love sha. She loves you too much 2 let u go...at least that's what I'm hoping.

But errr, if we suddenly don't hear from u again, we'll assume you musta eaten some egwusi soup....lol.
 
Ah, this ya yarn is really Bukilicious...I am begining to fall 4 Buki myself. This woman 'old you for blokkus gannn'...hahaha!(Devilish laugh). Well, enjoy it!
 
tread carefully women r not easy. pls no be by force to marry
 
My first time here and I am on the floor LMAO! Are you serious! Eya poor Bukky, well maybe you should take her out sit her down and tell her, don't sugar coat it, don't say maybe later in life...just let her know its over. Be candid and firm and unless she is a crackhead..she will get it. If it becomes a stalker issue...change your locks. You cant tell a woman you are not into her and then your actions say otherwise..she cooks your dinner, she has the keys to your crib..haba of course Bukky thinks she's got a man. You sef pele...e go better! You crack me up though...tooo funny.
 
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different ways to earn money... I did find this though...
a place where you can make some nice extra cash secret shopping.
I made over $900 last month having fun!
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Lmao I don laugh my head tire for this your post.. Baba Alaye.. you're just way too funny 4real... Bukky loves you my dear... no worry all those ones na coincidence... lol.. don't worry.. she will soon tire and let go.. (I HOPE)Me i no dey too pray but i go try add your name when I dey pray (mountain of fire style.. lmao)
 
This is just way too funny. I came across your blog today and loved it. My only advice is to start drawing closer to God and praying about this. The girl loos determined and there is no way or reason why she would leave. Fraid the only way is to Pray about it and ask God for devine help.
 
my guy.....throw out her stuff and change the lock on ur door!!!! When she comes the next time, she would not have access to your home and how can u have a house but nt be able to eat there??? And if ur impying that she does juju, pray o!!!
 
My guy... Pele. This one show you say power pass power.
I'll go a different route: You need to:
1. Fake like you've lost your job and all your kishi.
2. Send the cars to the villa (Egbaland 4ever).
3. Fake a fight with Baba Shege so you can't ask him for help.
If she still fakes and stays with you.
4. Tell her you are selling your house to pay off your debt.
5. If all else fails, I'm moving overseas and disappear after giving her a fake yankee/jand number.
Sorry if she asks you to file for her so you guys can be "together".
IF ALL ELSE FAILS ... KILL AM... NA NAIJA. LIFE IS CHEAP .... LOL. I'M PLAYING BUT DO SOMETHING BEFORE U WAKE UP AT NIGHT TO FIND A "BLACK MAMBA" (THE SNAKE AND NOT THE PORNO CHARACTER) SLEEPING NEXT TO U IN PLACE OF BUKKY.
AYAMATANGARRRRR .... LMAO
 
Oboy, u make it sound like say she dey call out your name, repeatedly, for night, into a calabash with a broken mirror (Nollywood style).

If Nollywood has taught u anything, u beta find a genuine pastor bcos retrieving ur keys would only lead to her appearing and dis-appearinng in/out of your house at will (again, Nollywood style).

This calls for fasting,night virgil and perhaps some burnt offering.(nothing is overkill in Nollywood-like spiritual matters)

TO GOD BE THE GLORY

PS:Sorry i no fit offer any pragmatic advice.
 
lol, this is fuuny, i almost peed on myself
 
LOLLLLLLLLLLL!! na u sabi.. na the thin wey carry ur eye there for the first place, na the same thin go push ya eye out.. ALL DA BEST NNA..
 
You are funny as hell!!! Almost got my ass fired bro!!!
 
Funny man
 
Dude ur hilarious!!!! But on the real, u need to man up and tighten ur belt! Lay down the law dog!
 
change your locks homeboy! and run the other way when you see her! hmmm naija babes we are hard o! LOL
 
Omo,

I recommend SERIOUS genuine fasting and prayer.

Na so man just go dey suffer spiritual oppression from women. I had this one beautiful girl, Half Puetorican-Half Dominican (Santa Domingo). My God! The girl fine pass, and I was sure the girl na mammy water.

Omo when we broke up (she left me), she tried coming back but I refuse am. Na so my left shoulder started acting up, no fit sleep at night, and the pain was crazy. On top of it, I just dey dream about this girl sha when I slept.

After a while, I enter serious fasting and prayer. I'm sure say she feel the pain, b/c nobody go mess with me spiritually and escape. Lai Lai, God purnish them.

Moral of the story:

Since them, I don dey careful how I enter women o. I no even dey enter them again sef, and my life dey peaceful.

True talk.
 
what exactly happened to the egusi that she threw in the trash?
 
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