Wednesday, December 13, 2006

 

Emptiness

That's how i feel. I tried to relish the initial relief. I got my way
Now i don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I stayed the Weekend at Ota 'cause i was running some errands for Pop
I didn't even have to change the locks... She brought the keys.
Drove all the way to Ota to drop my Keys. I never meant to hurt you she said.
She said she would kill herself first before she ever hurts me
Somebody e-mailed her the link, so yeah
She read my Blog
She says it's as funny as hell. But i was not fair in my depiction of her
I said "at least i changed your name"
"Thanks" she says. With that look of "Oti, you for put my real name there... Ode)
Maybe i was not fair. Heck i was not fair.
But seriously shorty did you have to return the Money?
I know i said it was a loan but hey, you know i never intended to get that back
That hurt.
And my Tee-Shirts returned. All washed and neatly pressed
All 7 of them. 7 different colours,
for 7 days of the week, So you could smell me on you all night
So what are you gonna wear to bed now?
Ouch!! Now that hurts.

You scared me with all that Marriage talk.
Every other Saturday, it's one Wedding or the other.
and even when you realised i wasn't gonna sacrifice football for some boring Wedding on a Saturday,
you finally let me be.
I'd let you take my Car. Whenever yoou wanted to. Floss your heart out.
but no way am i gonna miss a Manchester Derby for Rasheedat's Wedding.
I miss the laughter you bring
I miss your clumsiness
I miss barking orders at you and muttering "what a Klutz" under my breath
I miss changing my mind on what to eat at the very last minute
and watching you sigh in exasperation
Only to start cooking something else again.
I miss all that food.
I miss when we do the damn thing.
Oh damn i miss that.
I remember the First time.
Your tongue sloowwly tracing invisible lines at the bottom of my gun
ever so slowly
driving me insane
making me gasp
even more slowly circling the head.
I damned near almost pulled out your weave on
and i had to pay for the damned hair next day. ...I gladly did.
That first time, remember i popped in what was it now 45 secs? ( Ehen, i know say you go talk. Mr. Last all night. Abeg comot for road. rubbish)
You were so damned good. I remembered i said you must be better than that "Superhead" bitch.
and i kept calling you headmistress.

And we still stayed cool
after your family thought i was an arrogant prick
and i said your Pop looked like Homer Simpson
and you wouldn't pick up my calls for 2 days?
but you couldn't do it for much longer than that?
This has gone on for way too long Shortie.


I always thought i could call any one of my "groupies" and i'd be fine
I guess i was wrong.
I get lonelier after the front door closes.
There's nothing to share.
a "Jump-off" is what it is
a "Jump-off".

I'm not gonna lie my answer is still no.
I'm honestly not ready to do this now.
I don't even know what i want from you.
As much as i want you
You still annoy the hell out of me.
I can't live with you
I can't live without you.
What the heck am i supposed to do?

Comments:
Damn....
U dont know what u have until its gone.
Well, tht's the game
Ifd its meant to be, it'll be!
 
Baba Alaye u yarn titi somborri emailed Buki the link. The girl don return ur key, now u dey talk again. Kai! U can never satisfy human beings. Looks like u're scared of commitment, so if u're not going to marry Buki, why do u have a problem with her leaving? U can't eat ur cake and have it o. I'm sure she was pained after reading ur entry.

TO BUKKY: I sincerely apologize o, for implying u may have "jazzed" Baba Alaye when his cars wouldn't start. U sound like a very good lady, infact wifey material, God knows what this jolly papa wants. He even admitted that u're good. Cooking for him and even doing his laundry. Abeg, Bukky do shakara for him, let him come back begging upon all his mouth.
 
my sister said you were just paranoid when she read your blog. I thought she was doing oloyinbo (white person). see the girl didnt use jazz on you!!
 
Aaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwww - that was deep. (well apart from all the smesme about how great her head is - loll). But it's the sweet things like your 7tshirts and her coming all the way to give you your keys. I feel bad for my comments now - reading your blog must have hurt. And she carried herself with a lot of dignity.

My respect for her has tripled. All i'll say is - make up your damn mind before you go to her again. (with all that cant live with you, cant live without you stuff). Cos if you think you miss her too much and you go to her and then change your mind again, dont be suprised if she comes to you with a knife! Forget Jazz.
 
Thanks Ya'll but i wuz scared mehn!!!.

It was just a combination of co-incidences. Some of them damned hard to explain.(Like my Cars not starting i mean what are the odds of that?)

I've always said she was a good girl. I said that in my earlier posts. She all that. She just got too much drama when she be in the mood for it.... Like throwing a perfectly good pot of Egusi soup away WTF was i supposed to think?

I just found out she didn't read my blog. She found out i had a blog and i said something about her but she didn't get the link. (Although she faked it well).
Thanks Jibola i owe your skinny ass one.
 
pls just let her be, its obvious you dont want her. you just feel bad because she returned your keys and acted with a lot of diginity and you came out being the lesser man.
 
shiooo...im even angry sef..so omo dada ni miss bukky yi sef..see me thinking she was one mamalawo like that.u men sef....its a good thing u seem to be a commitment-phobe sef.cus she deserves more(and i dont care wat love wantintin and head galore is between u two o).abeg bukky if you are reading this...MOVE THE FUCK ON BABES.
and babaalaye when God decides to dash you one paminkushoribembe soko(abeg dont ask me what it means oh)anyway,that wont cook or even do anything slightly wifey and gives crap head..well some of us will be sitting waiting to read about it and laugh at you.MEN SHA..DAMN....
 
you sir are a dawg but what else should we expect from someone like you. She can give good head but u cannot marry her. Ashewo ni e! oloriburuku!
In another week your ass will be calling her and begging her to come, that u miss her. But really all you want is more head. I am actually surprised she has not tried to kill you since she read the horrible things u said about her.
 
Kai!!! I've gotten more flack from my last 3 posts than even Judas the Carrot sef.

I knew this time around e no go be only small yabis sef, it will be a full onslaught. Some scorned people have tasted blood and they've sharpened pointed fangs but guess what? I could decide not to write this at all and smell of Roses but this is me. BabaAlaye. Truthful to meself,Candid and it's my life all my mistakes, and insecurities, and gbogbo e included.

You got your internal Monsters, i've got mine. Yours are safe and hidden, mine's out on the WWW. I appreciate the candid feedback. I wouldn't have it any other way. Thanks.It's all love.I'm proud of us Naijas and our strong strength of values and our swiftness to defend injustice even if there isn't much we can do about it, but at least verbally set things straight.Thanks it's all love

Annonymous you can't seem to leave me alone sha? O ga o.I'm glad i make your day.If you want to vent, rant and rave some more please feel free.
 
three gbosas for aunty bukky!
gbosa gbosa gbosa

please invite me to the wedding

and baby alaye...this one that you are telling us of her sexual prowess ahem ahem, maybe she wont like it oh
 
*headmistress*
jesu christi, oludumare mi... lol

babaalaye you sound like my bf...real derrty

the question you should ask yourself...can you love bukky and marry her even tho u are not ready?
 
Babaaaaaaaa! Na wa for you ohhhhhhhh and please don't even play the sympathy card!!!!

You remind me of a friend of mine, he was dating this girl, he wasn't showing concrete signs of commitment yet couldnt bear the thought of losing her.

As the yourubas would say woni ko je ko je, woni ko gbe le, ko tun gbe le.

Please your few moments of empitness will soon depart, once you find another lepa with a vaccum for a gob!

As for Bukki... you new name is Oriyomi! You had better thank God for your narrow escape, and as much as it might hurt Baba has saved you months/years of despair as you are not rightly suited. Learn to love yourself and realise you are a Jewel worthy of much more...i'm sure your prince is somewhere out there. See this as a learning curve and move on!
 
Well, well, well, the drama unfolds some more!!! Shey u wanted ur key? Now u have them why are u complaining? Yeye!!!!
 
u men are all the same - u bitched about how u were tired, were quite disrespectful about her in your blog and now the babe has gone you claim to want her back. u don't: all you want is the sex and her cooked food. please let her go and don't go calling her: you'll only mess with her head.
 
Alaye Baba - ol' boy no worry ya head jare. That feeling is only temporary. By the time u siddon blog again, u for don dey another chapter of ya life. Regardless of wetin else all dis ya fans dey yan, I think you know what you want in life and Bukky no dey dat pikshure. Stay Righteous my man.
Yankee Fan
 
first off lol @ u pulling her "weave on"

anyhoo sounds to me like you are in love with her so why bother fighting it. yall men will always continue to baffle me. You love bukky, stop being a scary cat and do the damn thing. Gosh! What if you lose her and end up settling for just any chick. I know a few men like that and they r all misrable. Always talking that my first love bullshit, boo hoo cry me a river. Like my granny would say "Ma fi Iyawo she girlfriend".. u dig?

PS: you men know you love our drama, cos guess what those lonely nights when you start thinking about her dramatic ways, you will have a smile on your face.. lol

lol@ anonymous #2.. r u sure u and babaalaye dint have an affair in the past.
 
The drama continues. I shall keep my opinion to myself. Something tells me there's more to come...
 
LOL..I havent been following the drama...but BabaAlaye u get for hand, kai!
 
HEY,
ME I JUST READ UR BLOG FROM THE BEGINNING, I MUST SAY YOU EY HELP ME PASS THE DAY AT WORK, WHEN I TIRE FOR WORK, I GO JUST OPEN YAH PAGE DEY READ, I FEEL SORI FOR U SHA, TO BE HONST I DDI THINK THE BUKY DEY USE JAZZ BUT NOW SHE JUST SHAKARA YOU, BUT TO BE HONST YOU DONT LOVE HER SO LET HER BE, OKKKKK, MOVE ON AND LET HER DO THE SAME, IF IT'S MEANT TO BE IT GO BE.
 
Sweetie....Oloun mu e! I second Toni....you know she's the one for you in so many ways, stop playing! You don't want to end up lamenting in a few years about what coulda shoulda woulda...LOL. Was having a conversation with my friend yesterday and came to the conclusion that yes, there are tons fo women out there who can satisfy a man's base needs, but how many truly "QUALITY" women are there out there? Ol girl sounds like a QUALITY woman, so do YOURSELF a favour, be selfish....get her back before someone else does BUT only if you're ready to deal with it ALL.
 
this so reminds me the incomprable aihamed delot! lol so reads the blog and now u gonna be censored? O h I hope it doesnt change the way u write
 
Hmmm babe theres nothing more to be said now i mean u wanted ur keys and she's given them to you so be contented lol but seriously have a good think bout it if u miss her so much maybe y guys should sit downa and talk properly...take care
 
hey,
stunbled upon ur blog, as in ppl in my office now think im mad o, there i was laughin madly at ur predicament (or absence of it) as in why give urself wahala, u know u like the girl, but sha, if na me i for run o, what with 2 cars not starting as in!!!!! not in this naija abeg. u gotta pray and let God lead u in the righ tdirection jare if u guys r meant to be together trust ud find a way back to eachother somhow.
 
hhhh
 
I feel you, but I don’t think you love the girl and the feeling you have right now is not that of love but of that of loneliness and you being scared of her getting away. I think at 29, if you don’t know what you want, come on; the girl is not getting any younger.
Anyhoo, me I dey enjoy your blog too much, at work, I read and laugh out so loud too much. I just love the way you write, it’s amazing.
 
U need to grow up....by far the worst you've written. I am guessing this is for your your young female readers/fans?
Get back to some fun stuff ojare.
 
Babaaaaaa.....which one be all this love story you de write(you want turn to usher).....the babe was good in a few departments...the feeling is only temp

Make you Man up and write about the next conquest....
 
BabaAlaye; just make sure sey u no go end up wiff a babe like dat 'Ebere' u been blog about. dis Bukky feeling go blow past like dry harmattan wind. So MAN UP!
 
...And the beat goes on.
 
No respect for Bukky! That is the real gist. From da wey wey u portray her to how u feel sef afta she waka. She was good for two things: lay on her back and wear slippersenter Kitchen to cook for you. Kai! Walai, I thot Nigeria had chnaged.

I for don curse you well well because you dey manipulative BUT serves Bukky damn right too! Lots of Naija sisi eko think that they can cook and sex their way through a dating relationship to the altar. Na lie!!!! It is manipulation in the highest form that is socially acceptable. E no go work! Mothers cook and clean. If Babalaye wanted that he would kick it with his mom. Be a GF not a damn maid!!!!!!!

For u Babalaye,wetin be d wahala wey u get with juju? Y u fear fear like dis? Small time e be Ghana another time Bukky. Sey u sure say ya brain dey work well. Go check dokitor o! If Buky wan kill you, she no go dey romance you [so dem naija girls dey give head? Shio! Na wa!!!] cook ya food and ask for marriage. A good woman no want waste im time with free sex and free food, especially as im trick no work kia kia.

If na Buky, step up and be a man, make a good woman out of her. Otherwise, make you continue your Ashawo ways with the next girl. It's only a matter of time the Ashawoness wey you dey do go catch up to YOU!
 
It looks like you guys are not on the same page. She's ready, you are not, its best you don't keep stringing her along and let her be. You didn't disrespect her, this is your blog to write your feelings down. If you can;t be truthful to yourself then who will you be truthful to? Please go on writing what you think and feel. Nobody is perfect.
 
oh shit. she went and fucked you up mentally and emotionally. i swear, thats the height of poetic justice, romantic-messing-with-a-grown-man-and-taking-his-independence-away shit.

i hate it when this happens. ifeel you bro. feel you gan!
 
i've been here before o, make i no lie; it sis the story of my life almost.

i think you need some time to decide what you're really feeling for her, lest you go back there and discover that its not what you really want.

meanwhile, you suppose apologise gan o.
 
I feel very sorry for you,its kinda obvious that u don't really love her u're just gonna miss the comforts she provided and u just need a little time to get used to things without her. She seems like a nice girl...a bit too dramatic but hey!I guess she thought that was the only way to get your attention.

But don't ever string a girl along letting her think that the end result is marriage, the poor girl.. I'm sure has been imagining her future with u and u just crashed all her dreams. Do you think the girl will be cooking all dat kind of orisisrisi food for you if she didn't think u were going to marry her... anyways win some lose some.
 
@babalaye, how u de now? U know l read your blog everyday. anyways, ur stori de always kill me . I voted for you funniest blog in blog world. Stay loved.
 
blog now babaalaye i miss ur blogs
 
ooor, darn shame, pele jare, u remind me of my ex, ex-boyfriend and i tell you, he still calls telling me he misses me, hoping we get back together, but yeah if its mean to be it'll be, sorry mite(as in mate)
 
Your jazz is strong o!! Stronger than the one that you thought that someone was doing for you. I had typed at least 2 long and strongly worded comments and despite all my technological know-how. It refused to save. Hmmm.

Anyway, I don't like the turn of this story. I feel like I've been had. As in, the gist started with how this girl wasn't much to you but was sticking like glue (plenty of sympathy your way) and now has evolved to how she really is a great girl (so why were we feeling sorry for you before?).

Seems like she meant a whole lot more to u than you let on initially. My guess is that you didn't let on either because the story no go sweet and you would have come across as less of a macho man if you did or perhaps you did not really realise how much she meant to you.

Anyhoo, I also realise that you did not have to write this post and wreck your macho-man-getting-rid-of-a-pest-image.

You've (grudgingly) got some of my respect back.
 
na wa for you and bukky oh!
 
Someone emailed her the link?! That's horrible.. Fuck! Who on earth.. make mammy water fuck the person when do am.. seriously!Sorry babe.. I understand the emptiness.. I hope it gets better with time luv... I can't imagine how hard it must've been for her to read.. how painful.. but maybe it was for the best cos it was a little hard for you to tell her how you really felt(i mean the hints were simply not working!). I can't begin to imagine how horible you must feel self alaye.. but all is well jare.. life goes on right?every day when you wake up... it'll get just a little less painful you know... Be cool but remember.. Pity and Love are two distinct emotions.. don't confuse em and go back on what you really feel!
 
I feel you a bit on this one. I am almost in the same boat just that I am the one that cannot make up my mind on what the hell I want, don't know why I am running away. It's hard but you need to think and do what's best for you and figure out why you are running away. Easier said than done though.
 
Laughing the fuck out! What a piece of work you are.
 
LOL this post is even funnier than the last....aint that a bitch! You wanted her gone and now you are missing her...eya....well get over it! My guess is..yall will get back together in the near future, she sounds like cool peeps if she can find humor in you blogging about her...give it time. Pele
 
Baba Alaye o!! Your posts are always hilarious - but this one was actually hilarious and moving at the same time. Very real! I don't know what else to say sha - 'good luck' is all I can come up with.
 
@ Feyijinmi....is that your last name or your first? It is really beautifyl..It is also the last name of my girl friend. I havent quite heard of it as a last name before?
 
meant to say first name
 
My guy no worry. You are just going through withdrawal. When you get some correct luving/good company, you'll soon fashi Buki.
But if not I wish U guys a happy married life.
And I don't care what you guys say. Jazz is real oh. Some things should not be taken lightly. But since you are from Olori oko's (luv the song by the way) family, I am sure some "protection" has been organized....lol.
By the way 45 secs .... haba man. No wonder she returned the keys ...lol. I just had to get you there.
 
Don't sweat it, You will ge over it.......
Trust me I know.
 
I assume by the time you're reading this...you would have moved on from hia...
...if you have...see it was only a feeling...it passed away didn't it?
 
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