Monday, January 08, 2007

 

Blogger Online

My People. I don come again o. How una dey? Merry Christmas and Happy New year.
I wan pray so if your head no gree prayer, skip this part and start scratching your head.

May this 2007 bring you all joy and Happiness, May it be the year of actualisation of your dreams. May you Soar through the Skies like an Eagle. May God strenghten you, may he protect you and your family. This year you will achieve things you gave up on in years past. You will tower way above your enemies, You will go from breakthrough to even greater breakthrough and it shall be well with you.When your mates are wearing authentic high end Couture labels you will not be rawking "very good imitation". You will not ride shotgun in your mate's BMW. You will gangsta lean in your own Bentley, Paid for. Naija style. CASH. No silly payments. You will succeed. Amen.
And if you like no say Amen na you sabi. Na my free prayer for this year for you be that. And Baba God dey always answer my prayers that's why na only once a year i dey pray so i wont clog up the request line. Oya stop scratching your head. Chei, see Dandruff. You need to pull them braids out. E don do. Haba, since Before Christmas kilode?

You guys got me all mushy and all with the Blogger Awards thingy. I'm totally tickled.I didn't think i had the patience or the skill for Blogging. This is just a part of my personality but the "written word" part. I'm usually in the middle of the room at a house Party cracking people up, and making the girls drink come right out of their nose after laughing so hard.So some people said hey "Alaye you should have a Blog" Funny thing is most of them don't even know i have a Blog. Although i'm getting busted every other day. Oh well sha. Most Entertaining Blogger Emi nikan tan? (A direct translation won't make sense if you don't speak Nigerian English. Olawunmi help!) But for everyone who voted for me thanks for the love. I'm glad to have been part of your life for this 2 months i've been Blogging.

I got back and i totally forgot my Blogger Password. Can you imagine that? .....Sharrap! i no be olodo. Na crime to forget something? When the jollofing dey too plenty ehn, infact that na tori for another day. I fell in love every night of my first week with a different girl. Kai, God is the ultimate creator. i never see where one single girl go be part black, part indian, part philippino, part venezuelan, eye go be like cat, shape go be like Mammy Water. No be the Local Mammy Water for Lagos Bar Beach o! Correct Ajebutter, Exotic, slinky Carribean Mammy Water with rare seashells in a Prada Purse. Those chicks are a different species altogether. Kai! No forming, no Shakara, warm and inviting. I swear i didn't come back with one single "Durex Avensis max" (wink, wink). And if you know how many dozens of packs i carry go there ehn?
Meanwhile i swear by Durex Avensis Max. Those things are super sensitive.I mean realllyy super s-e-n-s-i-t-i-v-e. Guys trust me on this one.

Anywhoo, the Dust in this Lagos ehn? If you open your mouth long enough you'll get a Duster and Mr. sheen to clean your tongue. No be lie. My Cars looked like they've just been driven through the Desert. Omo this Harmattan no be beans o. Even gan sef,My house is Coated three time over with Dust. And that's plus pe i locked the house up o. The weirdest thing of all is that someone or something has been drinking my liquour. Wallahi no be the level wey the thing reach before i comot be that. My keys are with me, everything is intact, nothing stolen. Even gan sef, i forgot about $1000 downstairs on the table, in my haste to get to the Airport.
It was all there. Complete. Dusty, but intact. But my Bottle of Hennesy wey i never drink reach 3/4 sef don dey almost empty. And guess what? No dust on the bottle. The bottle dey shine sef like say someborry was dilligently cleaning the bottle every morning. At least the person for kukuma help me clean the rest of the house now shebi? I told my Step sister, She said i should count how many fingers she held up in front of my face. I told her 6. Yeye! O ti ri omuti. (I no sabi talk English tell Overwhelmed to translate.)

Shebi i said i had a Crush on a Blogger before i comot. Ehen, Lately i've been having very sweet very real dreams about this Blogger. Wallahi no be small sef. So sha in the course of this dreams, at the really interesting point, You know now, When the flimsy La Perla silk something is about to slide off her curvy booty, Calabar girl shows her face, dey preach, and starts to burn my cable. She go just dey hala "don't do it girl, Alaye is a bad guy. He's a Womaniser, Igba, Awo". Shuo! Yeye! you dey ask me how i know say true true na Calabar girl? She dey introduce herself now! Seriously. I no dey joke o. After she don talk finish na so that my fantasy Blogger go just do like say person press Rewind. She go just wear her Panties, her sexy, red see through bra, her black pants, her little top, quickly re-apply her lip stick and before i say "hold up" she go don comot. Without as much as a kiss on my cheek. While i'm nursing my blue balls and fuming.
So anyborry wey know Calabar girl help me beg am o. She's messing up my high. Can't a man dream in peace? She don Marry make she allow single girls catch their fun now! Abi kilode gan?
She should stop putting sand sand for my Garri. In fact i dey go beg am for her Blog today sef.

Meanwhile i'm not revealing the name of my Blogger crush. I'm sure she knows herself sha.
Hola.

Comments:
Extremely interesting blog
 
about dam time
 
You're seriously nuts!


Wait until Calabar Girl sees this!
 
Top 5! I was expecting to see Blogger unavailable. Great to have you back, mate! I have milsed (not a typo-missed) reading your mad hatter blog. Yels (not a typo-yes) o!
 
welcome back dude, its a good thing u used the ceedees, i adviced u 2, anyhoyz sha, gd 2 have u back
 
Welcome back and happy new year...
 
Omo I feel u jere ..nice to know u shine ur congo well asper make ur trip money no go waste like that..LOL
 
LOL!!! AMEN, AMEN, AMEN to all the prayers!!! Happy New Year to you too. Glad you had a lovely holiday!! Its really nice to have you back.

Oya, whisper in my ear - which blogger did you say you had a crush on? Eh hen - I'm listening. Oya roger me well well. As u don drive bukky comot I fit mellow don small. Bad Boy!! Wetin you talk say happen to the Durex Avensis? Waiter steal am from ur luggage? Alaye - Woman don suffer for ya hand. I dey forward ya name to Pastor Joshua ASAP. 2007 is your year of deliverance from all things feminine!!! LOL!!!
 
Baba Alaye!~
U have started again! LMAO!
WTF...I dont even know what to say...this post is action packed.
Anyway, I know who ur blog crush is!
Have a great year...ciao
 
Thanks for the love people.I really appreciate it. I'm a bit drained from all the "activities" but i've been able to clear my head and most importantly my heart. I feel free and at peace with the world and all mankind.So at peace that i just want to say a prayer for every person i meet on the road.And give everyone a hug. And no, i'm not high.(See what an action packed holiday can do for you?)
Traffic-less, Bukky-less, Stress-less time out. I'm living the life.
 
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
 
Abegi, u dis pimp of a Baba. Before i continue to yab u, make i claim my blessings. AMEN o, Ami l'oruko Jesu to all the prayers. Okay, as i was yabbing on, u ehn u need deliverance from all things feminine. Omuti is what we call people like u. Glad to have u back. Okay, so when will u reveal the name of ur blogger crush nau?
 
AMEN to your prayers..Happy New year to you as well..
LOL LOL.. Interesting and Funny Blog..Adding you to my blog roll.
LMAO@ the species of gurls you met..
 
Happy New Year!

Nice to have you back and to see some things just never change.

Enjoy life is too short!
 
welcome back ! and happy new year. been a silent reader for a while sha. keep us laughing.
 
Finally, gosh I was starting to get withdrawal syndrome. Hope you had fun, and errr I know who your crush is. Pay me not to squeal, I'll take the 1k on ur table, just pretend you never found it.
 
Welcome back welcome back welcome bacccckkk. Hey how come I don't know who this crush it. Toni Payne and Bella, expose him JO! Looks like you had a great time dude, sote you forget you password! As for the fact that calabar girl is in yor dreams....all I can say is hmmm
 
welcome back alaye! rudeboi! hope u had a splendid hol? and reading ur blog from begining to know, i see the fine print, and the blogger u have a crush on... and sad thing, she doesn't even know... but you know that i know that you know that i know...

blog on son!
 
welcome back. Your blog has been lonely all this while.
 
lol...calling crazy doesnt quite do u justice..thanks for hollering at my blog and making my head swell oh...appreciate it.
 
abeg sorry for the previous comment..blogger they do my head in..i cant remember my new username and password o!..olodo rabata like me..God dey!
 
aww babaalaye na who you dey dream of na me? oh sowwy oh abi na bella? abi na calabar girl sef?? na who him be;) welcome back fyi where ma link?
 
THANK YOU FADA...so u carried your big head back while some of us were busy stalking ur page..anyhoo me i claim the couture side of your prayer o..amen..
and yes..at first u were suspecting bukkys soup now u are suspecting someone drank ur ogoggoro...man mi.u too PARA...yess PARANOID..
durex avensis..4 real??i dey go buy ma own pack.BLOG ON..BLOGGAFUKER!!
 
Yah, you're back!!!! About freaking time! Glad you enjoyed your holiday ;-)

So tell us? who's your crush? I think I know as well!
 
welcomeeeee backkkkkkkkk, lol u have me laffin my arse off as usual
 
nice one, and do u wanna bet that in 10 years u'll be screaming about how u won in the very first naija blog awards. Anyway good luck with ur online crush and may she not be a fat smelly old man with his hands down his boxers.
 
Welcome back Baba Alaye, missed ur stories.I hope u will keep the gist coming this new year.
 
Serious Amen to these your prayers oh!especialy to the authentic couture clothes... lol.. Congrats on your win... na wetin i vote! lmao@your condom picks.. sensitive eh?!?!lmao... so na only your alcohol go notice ehn Alaye?! NO be me go translate that one oh.. you know say me self.. my english no too good now... lol @ your dream and Calabar Girl... you're just not serious oh.. welcome back jare..we missed you!
 
and let me just tell you oh.. I give you only 2 days grace to complete that tag!!! Virgin ko... Inexperienced Ni!!!
 
BabaAlaye, this one that u're so giddy about the sensitivity of ur condoms, are u sure u didn't just put it on and enjoy the condom alone without the girl?

Abi maybe u put it on as part of ur clothes (after taking a shower & rubbin 'him' down with lotion). Hmmmmmmmm, I need 2 investigate 4 real!

You left $1000 on ur table and left?? You're lucky I didn't enter that house.

And err, I might be wrong, but I THINK I know who the mystery blogger crush is too. But I'm not sure. And if I'm right about who she is, then I know why you like her.

Welcome back sha
 
My first time here, and I must say you're completely hilarious...I was left in stitches!

Your henessey..na ghost drink am ... LOL

AMEN to the prayer and Happy new year.
 
Baba, welcome.

To your prayers I say a double Amen.

Guys, Spread the word, BABA is back.



PS: As for the Hennesy, Kpele(sorry) I won't do it again.
 
u don kolo finish. welcome back.

i have a crush on you too???? oh no? its not me u have a crush on? 'sob sob' piss off then. lol.

on a serious note, who she be???
 
Finally an update. Welcome back to blogger. Amen to that prayer. Best prayer said this year.

I wonder what country you went on vacation. Am curious.

All these people saying they know who your crush is should talk...all this "I know who it is" isn't good enough. I wanna know tooooo
 
Hahahah Baba Alaye hope say u dey okay?

Ur blog is still hillariously funny! Keep up jare and we go beg Calabar Girl for you!!
 
I'm very new to reading blogs but I must say you have me hooked.
AMEN to the prayers. This is from someone who when to church 3 time last year (Dec 31/Jan 1 night vigil count as 2 days and easter).
Anyways keep the stories coming. God bless.
By the way I thot Ruff Ryder was the choice CD. Will be trying your recommendation.
 
I finally get around to this famous blog. So far so good. I am off to read the rest now......
 
Well, u seemed to have recovered speedily from ur last relationship. It obviouslty wasn't meant to be....
 
Well, u seemed to have recovered speedily from ur last relationship. It obviouslty wasn't meant to be....
 
welcome back. Your blog has been lonely all this while.--

I guess switching to blogger beta has messed up your comments. It happens.

Have a good weekend.
 
welcome back o, baba alaye. i hope say di moto wey you enta no too chop fuel?

wetin you bring come naw?

glad to have you back o, my brother.

lol at calabargirl.
 
Baba Alaye, alright it's time 2 update.
 
babaALAYE oya give us detailed gist of ur holidaycation now. how many potential baba mother u congo. abi se na Kokolettes make i talk.
 
Hmnn, my first time on your blog but u have me hooked now anyways. Thanks for stopping by mine.

Please now, I love gbeborun who is the lucky blogger u have a crush on. Moi???

A big AMEN to all your prayers. I will personally help you beg Calabar gal not to appear in ur dreams again.
 
"Don't mind them jare paddy mi.
That's how one day one of my boys send me pics of proper authentic Naija, Lagos babes from one Web site like that. Kai!!! Mehn Olawunmi you no go beleive wetin i see? Two babes wey i know well well for Lagos.
On a good day this babes dey form "Church every sunday".
I no blow lie o! Even sef if u want the pics send me an e mail i go forward them to u. My e mail is on top of my Blog."

I have scanned ur web page plus ur profile page and I havent seen any email adddress there oh!! Me I wan see this pic abeg email am to me: ultrasonex5@aol.com. I be proper AMEBO + GBEGBORUN. LOL!!!
 
Try out bareback condoms, in my experience they are the most sensitive. They feel like they aint there!!!!
 
this guy!
which ingredients dem take make u???
I swear u crack me up
 
is your papa really Obj?
 
So since u dan carry ya sef cum back from all the Dauda the Nackson guy role play wey u go do over the hols ...u no go update again abi ..

Abeg update ya blog jo ..
 
OK it's a new year. None of that waiting for 50 comments begging you to update before you post something new up. COME ON! It's been a week already!
 
In fact dude....you need to be sanctioned. Oya le,,e speak your language. Ejooooooo now.
 
welcome back i just came across this site and i thot i should ask .
DO U HAVE THESE TRAITS ?
http://www.nigeriavillagesquare.com/articles/guest-articles/what-is-babaism.html
 
babalaye- i am sure say you must have recovered from your holiday adventures by now? strength for don enter body enough for you to update your blog abi wetin dey cause the delay? don't make me come looking for you oh. oya kia kia.aba kilode?
 
UPDATE PLS!
 
BABA ALAYE. I looked for the Durex Avensis Max, I did not see it, I only saw Extra Sensitive. Are u sure that is the right name.Make I know..
 
Baba Alaye, are you busy with work....or are you just busy enjoying your sensitive condom...with or without a woman?
 
Update pls? missin ur blog
 
you definately have the most interesting blog out there, well its a tie between you and Belle Naija. I have the attention span of a fly but you both keep me tuned in...keep it up!
 
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