Intel Inside

I didn't fire him!!!
I so badly wanted to. I swear i really, really wanted to. I summoned him upstairs to my office and he came eating an Apple. I was mad!!!. Now, there's nothing wrong in eating an Apple at work or anything. To be honest if any other person had walked into my Office eating an Apple i wouldn't have batted an eyelid. I could even crack a joke like "are you trying to lose weight or we're just not paying you enough" blah blah. But this guy mehn, he's just the pants. I was just irritated just seing that black face and round grotesque shape.and he come dey make some kain pig -like sounds and i could imagine Saliva dripping on my floor.Omo, the guy dey hideous.Remember Tin Tin?, Snowy the dog and Captain Haddock? Remember the time they went to Congo and there were those Very black Pygmies with bulgy eyes, and big red lips? Ehen, come imagine that kain person for my office they chop apple.

So of course now, i told him to please go out and come back when he was done having lunch.
Then he said "Ah this is not lunch o, I've already had lunch(Rubbing his disgusting tummy as he's talking) this is just Desert" ha,ha,ha,.
I just had this dead pan expression on my face and i was wondering what was so funny? I didn't crack a joke, you didn't crack a joke, so why are you laughing??? What the hell is so funny?
I wonder why people do that rubbish. I ask a question, then you answer with a short laugh, and you're rubbing your hands together nervously at the end of your statement.This guy does it a lot, My Driver does the same thing too. And a couple other people.I don't get it it just looks very shifty to me. I see a lot of people do that stupid laugh around my Father, and these are grown ass succesful Men.
Long thing sha, i just dey there dey look the guy just staring at him and not saying anything. Then he started fidgeting.
The Idiot now started digging his own grave. "Ehn, We will win the Presidential Election he, he, he, I know so and so doesn't stand a chance" At this point my face went from a Blank stare to Murderous look. He quickly shut up mid-sentence and his mouth was opening and closing like Eja Titus.
I could have strangled him. Idiot! Who is "We" do i know you before? Eranko! Presidential ko? PDP ni.
If this guy knew a little bit about me, he'd know i never discuss Politics at work as in NEVER. It's a taboo subject for me.
At that moment i wanted badly to throw his ugly ass out the Window, but i couldn't erase the picture of his wife from my mind. She's one of those quiet, soft spoken women with very sad eyes. She looked like someone life had dealt many blows and most of the blows i'm sure had been delivered by the Sugomu standing in front of me with a half eaten apple looking like an Atoole(Bed wetter).
Picture this. You know when the Bible says patience and long-suffering? Ehen, that's the Woman.
It's a good thing a few people talked about his family in the comments section of the original post because omo, i wasn't even thinking along those lines. I just wanted to get rid of the Baboon.
Only say I would have been unleashing a demon both into the unemployment Market and most Dangerously into his home. Shey man wey no take care of his wife when plenty money dey wetin go come happen when e no get work? The poor woman go just die.( I wonder what he does with his money tho'. 'Cause he's really quite well paid.)

Sha, i just read the guy the Nigerian Riots act and when i saw that i had put the fear of God in his bone marrows, i told him to scram. I also told him that ehn, if he as much as imply, not threaten o, just imply any sort of retribution for Danfo head, He'll be up in my office discussing his lack of a Termination Package.